


It's not gay if you say no homo

by Wexuji



Category: Fire Emblem Echoes: Mou Hitori no Eiyuu Ou | Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, M/M, Nina has a cameo, i still don't know how to tag, mentioned Homophobia, slowburn, vine references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-06-29 14:08:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15730983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wexuji/pseuds/Wexuji
Summary: 'Alm you goddamn cabbage head! Stop telling everyone that Gray and I are a couple!'He replies not even a minute later.'We don't care, dude. It's 2018. We support the gays. Take it easy.'Tobin stares at the ceiling blankly. Why was he even trying anymore?





	1. Two bros, chilling in a hot tub, five feet apart 'cuz they're NOT GAY

**Author's Note:**

> There is too little Graybin content. I am contributing. I just really love the flow between these two.

"Hey shouldn't you do something about your boyfriend over there trying to get into Claire's pants?"

Tobin almost spits out his drink when Mae approaches him with this question.

"Excuse me- WHAT?"

Mae makes a small movement in their direction with her head.

"Yeah. He's been using cheap pick-up lines on her pretty much since I've gotten here."

Tobin knows. The evening had been going great. Gray, Celica, Alm, him and another white haired kid - Boey was his name he thinks - had been sitting here on this sofa and just fooling around telling jokes and everything until Clair came.

Tobin could pinpoint the exact moment Grays brain shortcut because he just got this weird, glazed look in his eyes and whistled lowly before walking up to the gorgeous blonde and continued to make a fool of himself.

Afterward the mood had been not that great. The conversation kind of faded and Celica and Alm disappeared to who-knows-where. Both Tobin and Boey were awkward so they just sat there and tried to make Smalltalk which went poorly. After a while Boey excused himself to go to the toilet and Tobin sat there alone, observing the others (mostly Gray and Claire) and sulking. Just a little bit. Because goddammit Gray can't just keep her to himself!

Mae coming over to talk to him itself did lift his mood a bit. He'd seen her before but only knew her as that one girl with bubblegum pink hair. She seemed like a real badass though, somewhat intimidating so he was a little bit shy about talking to her, even if he wanted to.

The conversation starter on the other hand shot his mood right back into the cellar.

"We're uh, not actually together, you know?" He tried to explain and Mae's eyes widened.

"You're not?"

"No we're not" Tobin says emphatically, "What the hell even made you THINK that?"

Mae shoots him a look that pretty much translates into "are-you-fucking-kidding-me" before she starts to count.

"Well for one, you guys are always hanging together. I've barely seen you guys separately. It's like you are in your own bubble or something. There is also the fact that you live together, according to Celica at least -"

"It's called sharing an apartment! For money reasons!"

"-oh and she also told me that you're sharing a room and a bed-"

"It's for MONEY REASONS! Wait, the bed thing isn't even true!"

Mae pauses. "Even if it was for money reasons, isn't that crossing the no homo zone?"

Tobin just groans. As far as he knows Gray and he have a very simple friendship. A bromance. It's plain platonic. They've just known each other for a very long time. Heck, they grew up hip to hip and Tobin honestly can't think of a time where he didn't know Gray.

They've been staying over at each other's homes since they were like three and the flat just happened to be the best one place wise and price wise. Gray didn't see a problem in sharing a room so why should he?

Besides that, he isn't attracted to Gray one bit.

Really, what they have is only platonic. Why couldn't she just understand?

"It's a shame though" Tobin snaps out of his thoughts.

"You'd make a pretty cute couple!" She says with a mischievous grin and Tobin buries his face in his hands.

***

"Dude I got her number!" Gray says and flings himself down on the couch next to Tobin. Triumphantly, he shoves his phone in Tobin's face. The bright screen contrasts the otherwise dimmed room and it's making his eyes hurt.

 "That's great" he delivers flatly and looks away. Jeez Gray doesn't have to rub that one in.

 "Wait, are you mad?"

 "Wha- of course I'm not!"

 "You are mad Tobin, don't be silly. You can't hide that stuff from me. I've seen how you acted the whole evening."

 Tobin doesn't react. He stubbornly fixates a random point in front of him instead. Just don't look at Gray.

 "You're mad" the other states and Tobin rolls his eyes internally. _Wow. And whose fault do you think it is?_

"Tobin."

 No reaction.

 "Tobes. Tobro." Gray starts poking him in the side and Tobin has to use a lot of force to stay indifferent.

 "Totoro. Toblerone."

 "What the hell- did you just call me Toblerone?"

 Gray beams at him. "I knew you couldn't ignore me for long! And now tell me why the frick frack you weren't socializing with other people but sitting here like some lonely motherfucker."

 "I don't know it's just —" he makes this frustrated little sound before continuing, "Stuff was cool before you went to talk to that girl and, I was kind of jealous okay? I wanted to talk to her too and you just kind of hogged her. "

Gray nudges him. "Oh come on! You could have just joined the conversation or something."

 "Dude I'm damn awkward around people and you know that."

 "Besides", he added after a pause, "What became of bros before hoes?"

 "Naaaw, did little Tobe-Boy miss good ol' Gray?" Gray asks, his smile becoming slyer than before. Tobin looks back at him and says as blank as possible "No thank you. The time without you was actually a great vacation."

 "Ouch. That hurt" Gray grasps his chest dramatically.

 "It better", Tobin huffs."Leave me alone. I'm in a bad mood okay?"

 "In that case, I've got just the right thing to cheer you up!", Gray announces. "Gimme your phone."

 "What? No!" he protests and cradles his phone protectfully. "What do you wanna do?"

 "C'mon, just give it here. Unless you've got something fishy on it."

 "Urgh fiiine. Just don't destroy anything."

 Gray immediately grasps it and starts typing a number in it. Tobin looks at the screen, filled with anticipation. Is he doing what he thinks he's doing...?

 "Is that- is that her number?" he asks in an incredulous way and Gray flashes him a knowing smile.

 "Yep, it is. Am I the greatest wingman or what?"

 Tobin laughs a shaky laugh. "No way. I mean, dude, why are you doing this?"

 "First of all, because I'm a good bro and second of all because she looked at you quite often and then asked me if I know you and if I could give her your number."

 Tobin frowns. "Where is she playing at, if she wants both of our numbers?"

 Gray shrugs nonchalantly. "I haven't got a single idea. But hey, from now on it's fair, right? Do your worst Tobro."

 He gives him a pat. "And now go out there and stop hermitting!"

 Tobin looks at him, confused. "Aren't you scared of me succeeding before you?"

 Gray looks him deep in the eyes and puts both of his hands on his cheeks. "What are you?"He asks and Tobin is even more confused now.

 "An idiot sandwich?" He guesses weakly and Gray snorts.

 "No! We technically yes, if one considers the meme format but you're my best friend. Yes, we're rivals now but that doesn't mean I wouldn't grant you your victory if you win fair and square. Nothing can come between the dream team, right?"

 "Yeah. Nothing can come between the dream team."

 He feels Mae's gaze on his back and can only imagine what face she's making. For the split of a second he considers telling Gray about it but then decides against it.

 ***

 Tobin still isn’t used to the fact that now that he’s living alone and technically an adult, he can do whatever he wants, including playing video games at 10pm. So when he hears the keys turning in the front door he almost chucks the controller into the screen.

 “Jesus, Gray!” He exclaims as said person comes into the living room, “I thought you were my mom!”

 “Thank god I’m not” Gray retorts and ruffles Tobin’s hair as he flops down onto the sofa. “Still playing Breath of the Wild?”

 Tobin nods, eyes glued to the screen. “That game is addicting.”

 Gray watches him play for a few seconds to understand the context before suddenly breaking out into laughter. “Dude, are you _still_ struggling with getting that Korog seed? It’s been a literal hour!”

 “Shut up!” Tobin says, flustered, as Gray continues to giggle like a maniac. “You know perfectly well that Korogs are evil little monsters that should burn in hell. Especially the ones that want you to hit some shitty moving balloons with shitty movement patterns. And then the only reward is something that looks like literal Korog shit.”

 “It says a lot about you that you are willing to go that far just to obtain shit.”

 “Gray! I swear to god –“

 “You know I’m just teasing, Tobes” Gray says fondly and squeezes his shoulder appeasingly. His hand feels warm and the contact makes Tobin tense up a bit.

 “Yeah I know.”

 The next few attempts at shooting the targets go even worse than the ones before. Tobin blames it fully on the fact that Gray is watching. It’s already bad to play games in front of someone else because of a weird case of stage fright which is completely unreasonable since it’s just a mini game where he can’t fuck up that badly and also because it’s only Gray! That guy knows all of the embarrassing things he’s ever done so even if Tobin wants to impress him (which he doesn’t) it wouldn’t work that way. 

 “I rate 10/10” Gray comments completely deadpan as Link misses the balloon for what feels like the hundredths time and turns to face Tobin. “Have you ever considered a career as storm trooper?”

 Tobin groans and tries to slap him. “Can you like, please fuck off?”

 Gray somehow manages to evade him. He wears a very smug grin on his face which Tobin really just wants wipe off.

 “You just proved my point.”

 They end up sort of fighting with screaming and flapping hands around and everything. In the end Tobin yields, gasping for air.

 “Dude, stop! You’re crushing the controller!”

 Gray reaches under himself and takes it. “Now watch carefully and see how the pros do it!”

 He makes a huge show of stretching his arms and cracking his knuckles before wriggling his eyebrows at Tobin suggestfully. He rolls his eyes but still cracks a little smile. Gray notices.

 “What Toblerone, are you impressed by my sexy eyebröws?”

 “No, they look fucking ridiculous!”

 Gray just laughs and then he’s concentrating. He’s breathing in audibly as he makes Link shoot and the balloon pops. “Fuck yeah” he whispered and aims again, waiting for the next opportunity. Tobin notices he’s biting his lip and his stomach does a little flip which should NOT be happening.

 They’re actually awfully domestic right now. The sofa is warm and comfy and the sound of falling rain coming from outside is making him sleepy. Somewhere along their little squabble their legs ended up tangled together. Tobin doesn’t dare to move. He can’t help but to think about what Mae said at the party. He and Gray? An item? Pffft, where did that even come from? They’re just friends, right?

  _But just imagine how it would be…_ a traitorous little voice at the back of his head chimes in and Tobin tells it to shut it.

 ***

 Claire texted him.

 Claire texted him which is why Tobin excused himself from the conversation and has been brooding over his phone for the past few minutes.

 It's like a freaking miracle! Claire is usually that kind of girl that never text first, always takes at least five minutes to reply and then immediately goes offline. Texting with her is frustrating but Tobin can't help but to check his phone every once in a while for her messages.

 She's been acting bitchy for the whole week. Tobin had already given up for now but then she suddenly asks if he wants to hang out with her like, right now. He just doesn't understand this girl.

 Under normal circumstances he would have _jumped_ at the opportunity to spend time with her but right now? He glances at Gray and Boey, feeling unsure.

  _Should he ditch them just for Clair?_

They randomly bumped into Boey on their way home from university. At first neither Tobin nor Gray talked that much, but after a while the three of them hit right off. Boey turned out to be a great guy; he's just a little bit helpless around people he doesn't know that well, much like Tobin himself.

 Tobin lost track of the topic. The other two boys are seemingly arguing about something, with Gray gesticulating wildly. He then turns to Tobin.

 "Yo check this out. Tobes, FOUR FEMALE GHOST BUSTERS? THE FEMINISTS ARE TAKING OVER!"

 Tobin follows up without a pause. "I'M AN ADULT VIRGIN", he half yells half sings and wriggles his arms around. Gray slaps an arm around his shoulder.

 "That's mah boi" he laughs and turns back to Boey, grinning. "See? We're totally in sync."

 "Vines are common knowledge though" Boey says thoughtfully. "That doesn't prove anything. I mean I bet I could start to make a pop culture reference right now and someone would follow up as quickly as Tobin did too!"

 As if to prove his point he suddenly whips his head around and starts to do the tune in a very loud manner. "WHAT IS LOVE?"

 The woman passing him gives him a disturbed look. But in the distance they can hear someone screaming "baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more" back.

 Boey fingerguns in their general direction and looks at Gray smugly. "See? It's only the beautiful connection of meme culture working its wonders here."

 Gray's grip on Tobin tightens slightly. "But you don't share the powerful bond of f-r-i-e-n-d-s-h-i-p with that guy!"

 "My little pony~ friendship is magic~" Tobin says in a sing-song voice and they all lose it.

 If he thinks about it it's really nice right now. Tobin is feeling really great for what feels like the first time in this week. The air is slightly chilly as it tends to be in early September evenings, but the sun is still warm and the rays of sunshine beam down on his skin. Everything is glowing. Tobin himself, Boey's bleached hair, and also Gray.

 Up to this date Tobin still hadn't understood what exactly it was that made his skin shimmer golden in sunlight – Alm once joked that Gray must be secretly a fairy or a Twilight-vampire – but the contrast between the gold and the warm brown looks unbelievably good.

 Gray has no business looking that pretty. It's making Tobin question things.

His phone buzzes. It's Claire again.

  _It's rude to leave a lady waiting, you know?_

Seriously? Fuck Claire. It's so nice right now and he would rather stay here goofing around with his friends than spend time with her. Every time they meet up his anxiety skyrockets. She is always complaining which leads to him being frustrated and feeling insecure. The week has already been so stressful. He doesn't need more of that negativity.

 He sighs and texts back.

  _I can't I'm with Gray right now._

 Gray eyes his phone suspiciously. "Who's that?"

 Tobin puts his phone on silent and then back into his pocket.

 "Nobody important. Now then, what were we talking about?"

 ***

 He jerkes awake in cold sweat, gasping for air and then, after he realizes where he is he sobs quietly, out of relief that he was still alive and then out of loss.

 It was about four am right now and he can hear Gray shifting in his bed.

 "Is it that dream again?", he asks, voice soft with sleep and concern. Tobin nodds but then remembers that Gray can't see him in the dark.

 "Yeah."

 "Come here."

 "I'm sorry for waking you up", Tobin murmurs apologetic as he gets in under the covers with Gray.

 "Shhhh everything's alright now", he says and squeezes Tobins hand.

 He's been having these reoccuring dreams since he was ten. His father died in a car accident while he was in the car. Miraculously, Tobin survived. But the psychological consequences haunt him until this day.

 It has always been Gray that calmed him down. And Tobin is incredibly grateful for that.

 ***

 Tobin facepalms inwardly as he sees the message popping up on his phone.

  _Wait, you and Gray are together? Why didn't you tell me?_

 He texts back right away with burning furor.

  _No Alm, we're NOT!!! Who told you that?_

***

 It's way past midnight when Tobin comes home from meeting Kliff, tired but happy. Kill too used to be part of their little squad back when they went to highschool but he didn't sign up at an University in the same city. It's definitively been way to long since he had seen him the last time and they had a lot to catch up about. Kliff still was still sarcastic as hell and as salty as the ocean but hey, it's the way Kliff has always been so Tobin doesn't really mind.

 He tries to be as quiet as possible as he turns the keys in the lock. Gray is a very, VERY light sleeper and Tobin doesn't want to wake him up. That oaf had chosen 8am classes, unlike Tobin who had avoided those as much as possible. He knew it would turn out to be a horrible decision.

 It's the truth. Gray is very vocal in complaining about that.

 But when he comes into their flat, he hears sounds coming from their shaired room. He already has a bad feeling about stuff when he sees the scattered clothes haphazardly thrown on the ground. He recognizes the clothes Gray usually wears when he goes clubbing and a few that don't belong to him.

 A feeling of dread and emberassment settles in his stomach as he comes closer to the room and hears low moans and groaning. He immediately goes beet red.

 They left the lights on and the door wide open. Tobin knows. All of the signs are pretty unmistakable and deep down he already knows what the actual fuck is going on in there but be it out of morbid curiosity or whatever, he goes and stands in the door and --- Jesus fucking Christ.

 The room smells like sweat and sex. A single lamp provides light and casts a soft orange glow over the room. There they are. A unfamiliar man is holding Gray down, fucking him into the matress. He's downright bulky, has tanned skin, fire red hair and is devilishly handsome.

 And then there's Gray. Oh my god. Gray. Just Gray.

 He's definitively enjoying himself, judging by his blissed out expression and the sounds he's making. His hair is disheveled and his skin is glistening with sweat and possibly other bodily fluids Tobin doesn't dare to think about. He looks terribly hot right there and his brain goes haywire.

 He just stands there, frozen for what feels like a solid minute before Gray suddenly realized he's there.

 "Tobin!", yells surprised and tries to cover himself up which was impossible considering the siutation he's in. "I thought you were staying at Kliffs!"

 The way he said his name was to close to a moan for Tobin's comfort and he's screaming with panick inwardly. The other man stops moving his hips and looks between them calmly.

 "Is this your boyfriend?", he asks.

 "No, he's my roommate", Tobin replies but the wasn't the point. That isn't the point at all. He snaps out of his stupor.

 "Jesus FUCKING CHRIST! Gray just fucking text me when you have someone over, it literally takes a minute or something. Keep going or whatever, I'm taking the sofa

AND KEEP IT THE FUCK DOWN!", he shouts before slamming the door shut and power walking towards the bathroom.

  _I can't deal with this. I just can't deal with this._

He needs a cold shower.

 ***

 The walls aren't soundproof. Tobin can't sleep and the cold shower didn't help at all.

  _I'm straight_ , he tries to comvince himself, _I'm straight and I like Clair. And I did NOT think that Gray is hot._

This was a fight against himself he couldn't win.

 ***

 Tobin is already (or still is, he isn't so sure himself) awake when he hears Gray getting up the next morning. The man left some time around two in the morning and Tobin knows because he was still silently freaking the fuck out at that time. He was actually freaking the fuck out the most part of the night.

 He doesn't know which part is the worst.

 The fact, that he unironically admitted that he thought Gray looked hot in such a compromising situation, the fact that he also thought the other man was undeniably sexy, him actually needing a cold shower after seeing that, him being able to get off only with the mental image and the unsolicited sounds that were coming through, the fact that he may not be as straight as he thought and did he mention that he managed to jerk of to Gray?

 As in _the_ Gray? The one and only absolutely best friend he has?

 Yep, Tobin's life is officially fucked.


	2. ...or are they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: homophobic slurs. Just skip the part that starts like "Later that day..."  
> Slightly OOC  
> I upped the chapter counts to four because this thing takes up 47 pages in Word and I don't want to put like 35 of them into two chapters :^)

"Hey Tobin! TOOOOBIN!"

He turns around and then spots Mae's bright pink hair in the crowd. She's running across campus, waving and he stops to wait for her. As she comes closer he notices that she's wearing pigtails.

Mae is probably the only person in the world he knows that can pull off pink hair and pigtails without looking ridiculous.

She comes to a stop next to him. "Hey Tobin", she greets him again after she caught her breath again, "fancy meeting you here."

"Hey Mae, what are you doing here?"

"Studying, duh."

"I didn't know we're at the same University."

She laughs. "I mean, I didn't know you're studying here either but then I just saw this guy with short brown hair, a part in the middle and skin as pale as cheese and I was like 'that's gotta be Tobin' so here we are now!"

They fall into an easy pace and start to walk around aimlessly. Talking to Mae is so much easier than talking to Claire was. She has such a cheerful and easygoing attitude that he's instantly happy by proxy. She makes him feel at ease and he's surprised by how fast he opens up to her. They decide to spend lunch time together and ten minutes later they find each other in a small crowded café just around the corner.

Mae orders a pork sandwich and a cup of pure black coffee which she downs at once without sweetening it or pouring milk in it. She doesn't even grimace; her face stays completely straight for the whole time.

"Don't get me wrong, I love studying electrical engeneering, but my prof just talks in such a slow manner and with such a monotone voice that I need to be caffeinated to stay awake."

Tobin's respect for her only grows.

"Damn, I can't even look at coffee if there isn't at least five spoons of sugar and like two shots of milk in it."

She winces. "I'm no one to judge but, I think what you're describing doesn't classify as coffee anymore. At that point it's just liquid sugar with coffee taste."

"Hey you let me drink my sugar syrup in peace and I won't judge you for your taste-buds killing concoction, deal?"

"Deal."

It's really fun talking to her, Tobin realizes and time flies, when suddenly it's time for their next classes. The chairs scrape against the ground as they push them back and Mae looks at him.

"We gotta do this again. Hit me up, when you got time, kay?"

"You- you actually want to spend time with me?"

Mae frowns. "Yeah of course! You're a cool guy! I mean, unless you don't want to."

Mae thinks he's cool. He feels a smile spreading over his face.

***

It's been a whole week since the ...incident and neither he nor Gray have made a move to talk about it. Things are really damn awkward right now between them and the elephant in the room just keeps growing and growing. Until then one Friday morning Gray seemingly has enough and slamps a cup of steamung hot coffee in front of the still half-asleep Tobin.

"Drink up. You're going to need it."

"Well I'm not complaining but what is this about?", Tobin asks after downing half of it in one sitting, "Are you pregnant or something?"

"Yeah right. No. It has to do something with the act of impregnating someone."

Oh. OH. So it's about THAT. Tobin can feel his whole face burning up and he averts his gaze. He cringes about his previous joke. Way to go.

His stomach drops with anxiety. It's the exact same feeling like the one you have when the teacher hands out the sheets for a test which you will fail with no doubt because you didn't learn at all. Except it's different. He can't really explain it.

"Yeah about that", Tobin says without looking Gray in the eye. How could he, when the memory of what he did that night still haunts him?

It's quiet for the next few minutes in their kitchen/living room. Gray is actually fidgeting, which is a rare sight for him. He opens and closes his mouth several times before he inhales deeply and finally says something.

"I'm pansexual."

Tobin stops stirring and looks up.

"What?"

Gray looks down on the ground and starts playing with the fabric of his shirt again. He's talking so fast and quiet that Tobin can barely understand him.

"I'm pansexual. It's when you don't care about gender and you pretty much like everyone. I mean - I thought I had to make it clear after you had to see that last week and I'm still the old Gray you know and - I mean - I thought you should know -"

So that's what Gray had been selfconscious about the whole time?

"I'm fine with it", Tobin says.

"- I mean you didn't seem disgusted so I thought it would be safe to come out to you but you were kind of mad-"

"Gray, I'm fine with it!", Tobin repeats, firmer this time and Gray stops babbling.

"You- you don't hate me?", he asks and his voice trembles slightly. It hurts Tobin seeing him like this. He's too vulnerable, too insecure.

He gets up from the table and slowly takes Gray's hands. They're shaking. He circles his thumbs over his skin soothingly and starts talking with the softest, most mon-threatening voice he could manage.

"It's fine, really. I don't care. You're my best friend and nothing can change that. Remember? Nothing can come between the dream team."

Gray finally decides to look at him. His eyes are bloodshot and tinted red.

"But you seemed mad..."

"The only thing I was mad about was the fact that you were busy getting screwed in a room which coincidently is also the room where my _bed_ stands. It was past twelve, I was tired but you blocked the room. It seriously didn't have anything to do with the gender of the person."

_And there's also the fact that I realized in that moment that you're really attravtive but that's none of your business._

Gray stays still for a second. The next thing that comes out of his mouth is so faint it's almost a whisper.

"Can I hug you?"

Tobin smiles a loosided smile and opens his arms. "Go ahead, big boy."

Tobin is surprised at the way Gray clings to him, as if his life would depend on it. He awkwardly pats his back. He can feel his heartbeat. It's faster than usual.

"Thank you."

Gray's voice is cracking slightly. Tobin doesn't comment on that.

"God, that was gay", Gray says after they pull apart, "Let's never talk about this ever again."

Tobin snorts."Goddamnit! We were just having a moment and you ruined it!"

He grins and Tobin knows they're back to normal again.

***

Later that day when he asks Gray why he'd think that _Tobin_ of all people would not be fine with it, despite the fact that they grew up togther and know everything about each other, Gray just shrugs dismissively.

"Dunno. Remember when we were nine and a lot of shit went down?"

"Yeah?"

"Martha got kicked out because mom found out she liked girls", Gray casually drops.

Martha is Grays big sister. Tobin genuinely liked her. She was incredibly nice and patient with them and used to play with them a lot, even though she was seven years older than them.

It was freezing when it happened. Gray was at Tobin's when suddenly they heard a lot of screaming next door. They recognized the voice of Gray's mother and instantly ran outside.

It was terrible. Martha stood there, on the lawn, motionlessly staring at the woman that gave birth to her, raised her and once cared deeply about her, screeching insults at her that she never ever expected to hear out of her mother's mouth.

"GO! YOU'RE A DISGRACE TO THE FAMILY, AN ABOMINATION! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN, YOU USELESS FAG!"

Tobin never understood what happened back then. He was only nine. Now he does and he feels terrible.

"I'm sorry for that."

Gray lets out a short bitter laugh. "Now you see where that fear comes from."

***  
Tobin wakes up to Gray standing at the side of his bed, fully dressed and ready to go. There is an excited look on his face.

"I want chicken nuggets. Do you want some too?"

Tobin sits up and groggily reaches for his phone. It's exactly 2:34am. He can already feel a headache coming from a mile ago.

"Do you- do you know what time it is?", he asks with a frown.

"Time to get chicken nuggets."

Tobin has to physically restrain himself to not punch him in the face, even though it's awfully tempting.

"Why the hell would you want to get chicken nuggets at two in the morning?"

"Because they're de-fucking-licious, duh", Gray answers as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "So do you want to come or nah?"

Uh, does he WANT to?????

Sure, why not, just imagine them pulling up at McInedible at a time where any other SANE human being would be sleeping instead of thinking of chicken nuggets.

Fuck, it's not even the weirdest shit they ever did together.

"I don't even have a choice, do I?", he asks resigned, as Gray throws him a shirt.

"Nope, you don't."

***

It's around four in the evening on a Saturday when Tobin walks home from meeting Mae.

The sky is blue and clear. The sun still shines, but the warmth doesn't reach him. The air is crisp and feels a little bit cold. The leaves are already turning yellow and Tobin wonders where the summer went.

How is it already September?

***

Tobin knows the situation with Claire is basically hopeless. He still asks her on another date, just to see what will happen. After all, there was nothing too lose.

(It was also something that might keep him from thinking about Gray which he does waaaay too often)

He is surprised and delighted when Claire agrees to go. This time he was going to make it work, he promises himself. This time he wouldn't fuck up.

The date starts well enough. He drives to her place to pick her up, like a real gentleman would. His clothes aren't disastrous - there was nothing wrong with a plain white shirt and slacks - and he even bought her flowers. When she opens the door she genuinely smiles and pecks him on the cheek and Tobin remembers why he even wanted to date her, because in that moment she looks absolutely dazzling.

They get into the car - Clair giggles as he holds open the door for her - and they start chatting. The converstion is quite pleasurable and for once Tobin has a good feeling about this. He's right out thrilled and he hopes his nerves don't show.

He can't help but to look at her now and then. The violet blue jumpsuit suits her and compliments the twinkles in her eyes. Her hair is put up in a messy bun. Some strands are falling out and framing her face nicely. Tobin wonders if Gray has ever seen her like this which leads to him wondering what he was doing right now, hopefully he wasn't getting shitfaced and bringing another person home and for reasons he couldn't understand he suddey feels a pang of jealousy -

Stop.

Claire is sitting right next to him and she should be the only thing he's focusing on right now.

The plan is to go and see a movie, something romantic to set the mood and then to eat dinner together.

It goes as good as expected.

Clair doesn't even look at him during the movie and the mood shifts. On their way out of the cinema neither of them speak. Tobin starts to feel insecure again. Is it something he did? Is he wearing the wrong clothes? Did he ask a wrong question? Just as he works up the courage to ask Clair coughs and stops in her tracks.

"Excuse me if I'm wrong but, you like Gray, right? Is that what you've been trying to tell me the whole evening?"

Tobin stares at her, slightly taken aback. Okay, more than slightly taken aback. Which is still an understatement. He gapes at her as if she just grew a third arm. Did she just...? He opens his mouth but is unable to say anything.

"It's alright", she continues, "Alm told me. You don't have to pretend anymore. Besides that, you're great and all, but I only see you as a friend."

"But I don't- wait! Claire!"

It's too late. She's already out of earshot.

Tobin gets into his car, but doesn't start the engine yet. He just sits there in the dark with his head banging against the steering wheel, feeling incredibly shitty. Great. Now he blew it completely.

It's not him, it's her, huh?

***

_Alm you goddamn cabbage head! Stop telling everyone that Gray and I are a couple!_

He replies not even a minute later.

_We don't care, dude. It's 2018. We support the gays. Take it easy._

Tobin stares at the ceiling blankly. Why was he even trying anymore?

***

"Did you know Alm thought we're together?", Gray mentions casually while they're playing Mario Kart and Tobin drives off the lane. Gray passes him.

"Yes!", he shouts and makes a small victory sign with one hand.

"You bastard that was fucking cheap!", Tobin complains.

"But it worked!"

"You goddamn egghead!", Tobin curses and Gray blows him a kiss.

"I know you love me."

"I'd sell you to satan for a single dollar don't try me, bitch!"

In the meanwhile the character he's playing has dropped from second place to eigth place with Gray's character ranked at third place. He really needs to catch up if he doesn't want Gray to rub his victory in his face.

He doesn't succeed. During the rest of this round he gets hit by three red shells consecutively, slips on a banana peel and then falls back to tenth place. He sighs

"Alright, I give up."

He endures the next five minutes, where Gray tells him exactly how much he sucks at Mario Kart and video games in general with patience and he finally settles down.

"I'm serious though. Alm thought we're a couple", Gray says again and Tobin nodds.

"I know. There are a lot of people who think that to be honest."

"Who exactly?"

"Obviously Alm, Mae asked me that at the party and possibly Celica becase Mae mentioned that she made a comment regarding that and", Tobin gulps as he says that, "Clair. She said Alm told her."

"So that's why she's been ignoring me for the last something."

Tobin remains silent. He still isnt't over the way she dumped him yet and he doesn't want to talk about it. Somehow it fills him with great satistification to hear that Gray didn't hear anything from her either.

"Maybe we should just start dating then people would stop to be confused", he says, half as a joke and Gray looks at him thoughtfully.

"Maybe we really should..."

Tobin has mixed feelings about that.

***

Who the fuck am I kidding? he asks himself as he gazes across the room at Gray.

Homework is frustrating and time consuming, but unfortunately neccessary which is a truth that finally pierced through Gray's thick skull. That's the reason why he's currently sitting at the kitchen table and brooding over a worksheet.

His brows are furrowed and he's absentmindedly tapping his fingers on the hard surface.

Tobin could feel the little smile forming on his face. He's beem smiling unusually often at the other male.

Gray looks up, winks and then goes back to work. Tobin's heart skips a beat and he shakes his head resigned at his own reaction.

Really, who was he kidding? This thing has been going on for quite some time now and it scares him. Despite the thing with Clair. Or maybe  _because_ of the thing with Clair. Or maybe because Gray is just a great human beeing whom Tobin cares about a great deal. He doesn't know. 

But he has to admit, that maybe, he has after all developed a slight crush on him...


	3. Maybe

"Aaaaaand done!", Gray exclaimes and throws his pen onto the table and his hands in the air, before he crosses them against the back of his head. He leans his torso back and the hem of his shirt rides up slightly, revealing a strip of skin. Tobin catches himself staring and tears his gaze away.

"It's not fair, I started before you", he complains and pops his head face down on his notes, not caring if he crinkles them or not.

"Maybe I'm just better at solving tasks than you."

"Shut up Gray", he answers, voice muffled.

He hears footsteps and then a light touch on his shoulder. "Tired, Tobe?"

He nodds and subtly leanst in against his touch. Gray ruffles his hair and Tobin feels him dragging his notes away from under his head.

"What?"

"Fuck studying, you deserve a break."

"But I'm not done yet-" Tobin protests weakly and reaches for his papers, but Gray holds them out of his reach.

"You're done for today", he says with a strict voice, "doctors orders. What you're going to do now is get nice and cozy and watch a movie with me."

He starts to gather all of their materials and puts them away . Tobin is thrilled at the thought of them spending their evening like this.

***

Mae turns up at their place one day, with Celica in tow.

"Hey!", she greets them cheerfully, "Celica here and I are gonna throw a Helloween party at our place, are you guys free on the 31st?"

"Sounds like a lot of fun", Gray chirpes in. "Who else is coming?"

"Oh it's just a small circle, y'know? There are just Boey and Alm besides you guys."

Tobin feels kind of relieved that Claire isn't going to be there, but at the same disappointed. It's weird. He didn't even cry and he actually just kinda shrugged and went on with his life. He was just numb. And because there is Gray. Feelings really are shitty.

"Do we have to do costumes?", he asks. "I mean at least I am short on money."

"We were thinking of low budget costumes", Celica explains. "Nothing fancy."

Tobin nodds thoughtfully. "Got it."

"Alright then", Mae says. "We gotta go now so see ya then!"

She waves and Celica lets out a tiny smile before they disappear. Tobin closes the door and turns to Gray.

"Do you already have ideas for costumes?"

"Not for myself, but for you."

"Spill it."

"Just buy a Toblerone bar and eat it there, because you are what you eat", Gray cackles madly and Tobin smacks him.

***

Sometimes, when Tobin looks at Gray, it hurts inside because he seems to good to be true.

And because he doesn't know if Gray reciporates those feelings Tobin holds for him.

And he wants this thing they have now to last forever but he knows it can't.

***  
They're sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for the pizza to be ready. Neither of them speak and Gray is lazily scrolling through his phone. Tobin clears his throat. There was something he wanted to ask the other and right now seems like a pretty good opportunity.

"Gray?"

"Hmm?"

"How do you feel about the whole debacle with Claire?"

"I'm pretty much over it. Like, I don't think she ever actually liked me", he says indifferent ly, "When we texted she'd tell me to fuck off in like ninety percent of the time and that one date we had ended up in her suggesting to turn it into a one-night stand so I could forget about her and she could forget about me. How fucked up is that, amirite?"

"Wow that's a dick move", he says. "Are you alright though?"

Gray shrugs.

"As I said, I'm fine. I don't know if I ever really liked her in that way it's just...I don't know, feelings are complicated, man. But I'm really over her. How are you though?"

"Yeah, I'm the same. I mean - she's one of those really rich girls and I'm just plain old Tobin, I guess. Like, I'm still kind of sad over the fact that I got rejected but she's just too good for me I guess. But yeah, I'm over her too."

Gray apruptly stands up from his chair, upset.

"Don't."

"Excuse me?"

"NEVER put yourself down like that again. Never, ever, ever. You're amazing and she's the one that doesn't deserve you", he blurts out and then sits back down again, looking somewhat sheepish. Tobin's insides twist at that statement and he gets this fuzzy warm feeling that spreads through his whole body. He smiles at Gray, slightly abashed.

"Thanks for thinking that highly of me."

***

Tobin discovers that dreams like the one he had last night are the worst.

It was a very simple one, where they were just eating breakfast in the kitchen. Soft light was falling in from the window and they were holding simple conversation, when suddenly Gray leans over and pecks him on his lips, leaving him blushing.

"You're cute when you're flustered", he said with a cheeky smile on his face, "makes me want to kiss you even more."

Tobin was so happy he could cry, but then he woke up and amost really cried out of frustration.

He knows it was just a dream and a very delusional one on top of that too. Just- Gray? Like that? That's too out of character. Gray would never do that.

Still, it felt like something that he COULD have and it's just a horrible feeling, dreaming something as beautiful and perfect like that, actually feeling LOVED and then waking up to find out that it's not real.

Like no. That's equivalent to giving a child a lollipop and then ripping it out of its hands.

Fuck life and his subconsciousness.

***

"So tell me about your date with Gray", Mae asks with a mischieveous grin and leans close towards Tobin. They're at her place, just chilling with Celica conveniently staying over at Alm's.

"I wish there was one", Tobin mutters under his breath and takes a slurp of his pumpkin spice latte, which Mae convinced (read: forced) him to order. It was surprisingly tasty and he can't remember why he didn't try it before.

"What did you just say?", Mae leans in even closer, wearing a visibly excited expression on her face. "Did I hear that right?"

"No, you didn't!", Tobin almost shouts. "Forget it!"

She flops back down onto her chair and sighs. "Well, at least you didn't deny it. Now tell me. Did he do something stupid?"

"As I said, there is no date!"

She frowns. "But you totally were on one! Remember that McDonalds thing?"

"What, you don't mean that time where Gray forced me to get up at _freaking two_ in the morning for chicken nuggets?"

"Yup, that one."

"How do you even know about that???"

She winks playfully at him. "A little birdie told me and now spill the beans!"

"Since when does getting food at McDonals classify as a date?"

"Hey Boey and me do it all the time."

Aha! Gotcha! Tobin looks at her smugly and puts his cup down on the coffee table.

"So you and Boey, huh?"

Mae turns rather pink.

"We're still just testing it out. But don't distract from the topic! He gave you his jacket!"

"I get cold easily, he doesn't. It's as simple as that."

"You gave him half of your chicken nuggets."

"More like he clawed them out of my hands."

Mae still doesn't look convinced.

"Seriously. Those are all things that friends do for each other."

"But those are also things couples do."

"Touché."

They stare at each other, Mae expectantly and Tobin thoughtfully.

"I mean", Tobin starts hesitantly, "it really. Wasn't a date. But I wish it was."

He doesn't know what it is, but he really trusts Mae. He just has this feeling in his gut that this thing is safe with her and that she won't judge him. Mae is cool like that. This was long overdue anyway, especially now where he couldn't confide in Gray.

So he explains everything to her. What he said maybe didn't really make sense - it was more like random sentence fragments he smashed together and hoped would make sense, but Mae magically got what he meant.

And then there was this huge weird hanging pause.

"I'm sorry, I just really need time to process stuff", she finally says apologetic and Tobin lets out a shaky breath he didn't know he was holding. It still feels somewhat impossible to look into Mae's face so he starts inspecting his cup instead. They spelled his name wrong. How in the world was it possible to spell the name Tobin wrong? Like there are several spelling forms for Gray - you can either write that with an "a" or an "e" but Tobin?

And _of course_ his subconciousness decided to make everything about Gray again. As if he wasn't already spending a huge part of his awake time thinking about him (and sadly also a huge part of his dreams).

"Is this your first time telling anyone?", Mae finally asks and Tobin nods without looking anywhere. She gets up from her chair, walks around the table and hugs him, tightly.

"Shhhh it's alright. It's alright. I'm glad you trust me this much", she says and pats him on his back and he nods again, despite knowing that she can't see him. She doesn't let go and then there is her voice against his ear.

"So, welcome to the gay parade, I guess", she says and he hears her laugh. It feels kind of muted, kind of more serious than the usual Mae. "Congrats, you're member number three, the other two are Gray and me."

"Wait you're...?"

She shushes him.

"I didn't make a huge deal about your thing, don't make this big either."

***

They're at Walmart to buy food, actual food instead of instant noodles or frozen pizza and other junk they've been feasting on starting the moment they moved into their shared flat. Courtesy of Tobin's mother. She randomly video called and ordered Tobin to show her whatever food they had at home and immediately ordered the boys to buy something nutritious.

"I don't get why we can't just eat the stuff we ate before", Gray complains as they walk down the fruit aisle. "Pizza contains vegetables and that's healthy stuff. So in conclusion, pizza is healthy."

Tobin grimaces. "You know my mom. Either we listen to her or we have to be prepared to gey our asses whooped."

"Why is fruit considered as being so healthy anyway? Did you know that bananas are actually radioactive?"

He takes a bundle and inspects it warily. "Maybe you could die if you eat too many of them. Tobe, do you know anyone who died of eating bananas?"

"Put them down, they didn't hurt you or anything. Besides, people are staring."

"Nah, I think I'll take them. It's for science."

They walk past the sweets aisle next and Gray sneaks a package of nerds into their shopping cart. Tobin appreciates the gesture. It's his favourite kind of sweets, but Gray hates them. He says it tastes like compressed sugar mixed with chemicals. Tobin enjoys them anyway.

There are a lot of halloween themed sweets being sold right now and he gestures Gray to stay.

"Let's get some for the party."

***

They leave the store with sweets and more sweets and the bundle of bananas Gray insisted on keeping. Tobin feels like they forgot to buy something very important.

"Maybe I'll turn into banana-man if I eat these", Gray jokes, "It's like Spider-Man and the radioactive spider. Except I get to bite the bananas and not the other way around."

"You could also shove them down your throat so you stop spouting nonsense."

"I - shut up, Tobin. You're only like this because you don't want me to get superpowers and become a superhero."

"If you ever get superpowers, the world is gonna burn", Tobin delivers flatly. "Besides, I don't think you'd become a hero either. I think you'd actually have to role of a mildy annoying antagonist."

"If that's the way it's gonna be, I'd be your annoying antagonst", Gray says cheekily and pokes him in his side. Tobin's heart does this thing where it just forgets how to function.

Tobin thinks that sentence pretty much describes what Gray is to him. He's a moron and pretty much the source of all of his troubles. And he wants him to be his. But he's not and that's why his feelings are just working like a goddamn rollercoaster right now.

***

One day Tobin comes home to incoherent sounds coming from the living room. 

 _Not again._ He thinks in horror and braces himself as he makes as much noise as possible when he entery their flat. He knocks loudly on the door. 

"Are you decent?"

"No he's a piece of shit!", he hears Mae's muffled voice. 

_Mae? What is she doing here?_

He slowly opens the door and lets out a relieved sigh as he see's that they're only fighting. Over the Switch-controller. 

"Mom says it's my turn to use the Switch now!", Gray says and turns his head towards Tobin. "Isn't this right?"

"But you  _own_ that thing! You promised you'd let me play!"

"I promised we could take turns, not that you could hog it all day!", Gray argues back and they're instantly all over each other again. Tobin doesn't know if he should laugh or cry. They're really like two little kids. 

Still, there was a fleeting feeling of discomfort overcoming him. They seem so comfortable around each other, so intimate. And he couldn't help but to feel a pang of panic and jealousy again. 

Gray was supposed to be only like this with  _Tobin._

And he instantly feels bad for that thought. 

***

It's around 1am on a Monday night and both Tobin and Gray are lying in their beds - Tobin tucked in snugly under his blanket and Gray popped down on his messy sheets - and they are officially sleeping. Except their not. Alas, it's the call of social meida that keeps them awake. Who has ever resisted the temptation of checking Instagram and Twitter and whatnot one last time before bed?

At least Gray is. Tobin is faking to be on his phone, to be exact. It's goddamn October and Gray is still sleeping in only his boxer shorts, which makes one wonder how in the world he hasn't caught a cold yet. But oh well, who was Tobin to complain?

Even if he felt guilty for it, it was the perfect opportunity to oogle his crush. Gray definitively works out, judging by his toned chest and his sixpack. He wears an easy, carefree smile on his face which makes one third of Tobin squeeling like a schoolgirl inwardly. He wants to slap that third.

Feelings are complicated and shitty.

He suddenly hears a quiet "pling" and then Gray sniggering. A text message popped up on his phone and he looks over to him.

"We're in the same room, talk to me dude."

"Just open it!"

It's a Tumblr post, screenshotted and then put on Instagram, and then screenshotted again just to be sent to Tobin via sms. It's a single, photoshopped Toblerone bar. Except it's not chocolate anymore, but made of potatoes instead. The caption said Potatoblerone.

Gray added one thing: you.

Gray was waiting impatiently for his reaction and when he hears him groan his sniggering intensifies.

"Potatoblerone. Seriously?", Tobin states as deadpan as possible and Gray breaks out into a full-on cackling fit.

"I fucking hate you", Tobin says and throws a pillow at him, which Gray catches mid-air.

"Thanks for the present, Potatoblero-", he can't even finish his sentence before his body is shaking with another wave of laughter. And Tobin can't hold it in anymore so he joins in and they end up in two giggling messes who repeat the word over and over.

"I hate to admit it, but god, I love you Gray for sending me this."

"Love you too, man", Gray answers.

Tobin wonders if ithis is the closest thing to a confession he's ever going to get.

***

The next time he sees Mae on Campus she quickly grabs his arm, pulls him into a corner and then goes for his bag.

"What are you doing? Trying to rob me?"

She doesn't answer and instead shoves about seven books into his bag.

"Trust me, you don't want to be seen with these", she says seriously. "So be sure that you're absolutely alone before you look into these, you hear me?"

He nods, flabbergasted. She winks at him before storming off, most likely to her next classes.

How bad can this be? Tobin thinks once he's home and checks his bag for these mysterious books.

Actually, they're not books. They're mangas. And Tobin is absolutely dumbfounded once he sees the covers. What. The. Actual. Shit.

How does Mae even own these????

The covers are already explicit enough and the summary is even worse. On top of that, it's two men doing.....stuff.

He then sees the authors name. Eponine.

Mae told him about her. He quotes - "adorable girl who gets so easily flustered around guys but is a complete nuthead once one gets to know her closer who draws the most explicit gay porn. And she has two dads. Did I mention I used to have a crush on her?"

Somehow she gave Mae A TON of her work so that's the story of how Mae has a huge ass kinky as hell gay porn stash at her home now.

But why did she even give him that stuff?

He reluctantly starts to flip through one with a sceptic expression on his face. And then another one. And then he spends his whole afternoon reading drawn gay porn. For the most part he just sits there and cringes.

How the hell did that girl even think this stuff up?

BUT somehow he manages to go through the whole thing. And he enjoyed the whole experience and he hates himself for that.

***

The next time he sees him Tobin swaggers up to Boey with a knowing smirk and locks his head into a vice grip.

"I heard you and Mae are a thing now. Just admit it."

"I- uh, yeah, I don't need that from someone who still doesn't want to admit that he's together with Gray."

Tobin curses.

***

Sometimes he gets overwhelmed by the intensity of his own feelings.

He never noticed it before, of how much he cares about Gray and how much he misses him, even though he is sitting right next to him. It fucks with his brain and he feels like he's going mad.

All of his emotions are linked to Gray and he's scared.

Gray has too much power over him and he doesn't even know it. Tobin knows, that the moment Gray turns him down, his life will be over.

That boy subtly and gradually dispelled Claire from his mind and sneaked in himself.

Jesus fucking christ, Tobin is just so much in love with that goddamn idiot that he just can't deal with himself anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Potatoblerone thing is legit. It's a Denny's post on Tumblr and I just HAD to use it up in here.


	4. It's confusion but good confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter WHOHOO! \0/  
> I should probably have timed it better for Halloween but meh.

It's Halloween and everything is just really chaotic. Fun but chaotic. Chaotic good.

Tobin and Gray are the last one to arrive. Mae greets them with a warm hug.

"There is alcohol in the kitchen, if you want some", Mae explains to them while they walk past it.

They dump all of the sweets they brought on the coffee table. It's now full with junk food, ranging from Oreos to Pringles and other delicious, probably diabetes inducing stuff. The coke bottle is already half empty.

The costumes are made with zero effort, but that's kind of what makes them hilarious.

Alm made some kind of badly cut paper crown made of various pieces of green fabric and paper and wears it on his head. "It's cabbage leaves", he explains, "because y'all always call me cabbage head."

Celica decided to as a cat. It's simple and cute, she just sew cat ears onto her headband and a tail on her trousers. It suits her.

Boey actually makes the Vine reference he said he'd make. He's wearing a white shirt that clings to his torso, the pants and sunglasses. He even brought salt. He looks pretty satisfied with himself.

Mae's costume is probably the laziest out of the ones in their group. She wrote the word "life" on her forehead and continues to get into everyone's way. And whenever anyone complains, she just laughs and says "life's a fucking biiitch!"

And then there is Gray. Unbelievable.

He's wearing a gray shirt covered in dozens of colour samples, all in shades of gray. Warm gray, cool gray, blue gray, you name it.

Fifty Shades of Gray. Goddamnit.

Alm whistles. "Damn, where did you even get these from?"

"Stole them from the art store."

There are photos of Gray inserted somewhere in all that patchwork, and then Tobin catches a glimpse of himself in there. He jumps at that. Why would he...?

He asks.

"I really like Toblerone after all", Gray jokes and points to the bar he's taped in front of his shirt.

He doesn't know how to respond to that and when he turns around, he can see Mae subtly giving him a thumbs up.

***

Mae made the mixtape and the first song on it is fucking Spooky Scary Skeletons. The remixed version by The Living Tombstone. Alm stares at her as if he can't decide how to feel about that.

"You expect me to jam it to goddamn Spooky Scary Skeletons??? Seriously?"

"What, you got a problem with that?", Mae jabs a finger at him, challenging, "You have to take whatever life gifts you like the little cabbage head you are!"

Alm inhales sharply, in an offended way. "Well, if you think that's what I will do -- then you're absolutely right because that shit is my JAM."

They brofist and Tobin has no idea what just happened. It doesn't matter anyway, because now everyone is just wriggling around and trying to dance in that cramped space they're in. Neither Boey, nor Alm or Tobin could really dance so they just jump around and flap their arms around uselessly.

Boey says something to him but he can't understand it. Gray turned the sound of the music box way up. Boey comes closer and screams in his ear.  
"You look fucking ridiculous!"

"Thanks, you too!", Tobin screams back and Boey gives him the finger with a grin plastered on his face. Tobin realizes he doesn't care that they're ridiculous. Alm is too, but that doesn't stop him from proceeding with his dorky moves and making Celica laugh.

This is the most fun Tobin had in a long time and he wasn't going to let his self-consciousness ruin it for him this time. He catches Celica’s eyes and she smiles at him. Yep, everything was definitively going great.

The song changes and Mae steals Celica away from Alm to dance with her.

"I'm borrowing her so she doesn't get infected with your bad dance moves", she teases. Alm starts stuttering and Celica giggles.

"I'm sorry Alm, but they are really bad."

He gapes at her and Gray rests an elbow on his shoulder.

"Face the reality, my dude. You can't dance."

"And you can, or what?"

"Of course", Gray smirks and lifts an eyebrow cockily, "I mean I have to if I wanna pick up people at the club."

"Fite me in real life."

Gray does. Tobin has never seen him dance before so now all he could do was stare.

It was a mixture of hip hop and break-dance he was doing and his movements were practised and filled with power. There was a fluidity to them that Tobin has never seen on Gray. Damn, this was some serious skill he was whipping out.

Boey closes in on Tobin and whispers. "Dude, are you sure you're not together or anything? You're staring as if you life depends on it."

Mae whistles lowly. "Fly moves you got there, but not as fly as Celica’s! Throw some down, sis."

"Wha-? But I've stopped taking lessons years ago! I don't think I remember anything-"

Mae pushes her and somehow everything escalates into a dance-off. They cleared a space as the dance floor and only Gray and Celica remain there, with the others sitting on the ground, watching excitedly. Tobin doesn't remember ever seeing Celica wearing such a fierce expression on her face. She was moving with more grace than Gray, and with a sublimity that definitively came from the years of training.

"Celica! Celica!", he could hear Mae and Alm cheering and soon, also Boey joins in.

"Gray! You've got this!", Tobin shouts in order to drown the others. Mae shoots him a smirk.

"And of course you're cheering for Gray."

"Well, someone has to", Tobin retorts and hopes that she can't see how red his ears got. Both Boey and Alm look at him smugly.

Tobin grabs his glass and downs his ginger ale in one gulp to cover his emberassment.

The song ends and they're clapping and cheering. Gray comes over to Tobin with a happy but exhausted expression on his face.

"Knew you were going to be rooting for me, thanks bud. I'll grab something to drink, want some too?"

"Bring me some Cola", Tobin answers and Gray gives him thumbs up before vanishing.

Celica sits down next to Alm, who stares at her in wonder and adoration, and tries to fix her hair. She's still out of breath and accepts the water he gives her gratefully.

"When did you learn that? That was amazing!", he says and Celica blushes.

"We all joined a class together", Boey explains in her place, "but Mae and I stopped shortly after."

"He didn't have talent after all", Mae adds and Boey abruptly turns his head towards her.

"That's not true! Take that back!"

"If you move even more your bread is gonna fall off", she answers and flicks his left toast. "Or I could just eat it."

Boey makes a choking sound. "Gross, that's been dangling on my cheek for hours."

Mae shrugs. "Food is food", she says and rips off a piece.

"Stop destroying my costume!"

"I mean, there are sweets on the table...", Tobin suggests and Mae shushes him.

Gray comes back half dancing through the door.

"You’re really just my type", he sings along when he places the cup in front of Tobin, "You've got a pulse and you are breathing."

Tobin doesn't know if the following wink means something or not. He hopes it does.

"Took you long enough there", Alm comments, "did you get lost in the kitchen or what?"

 

"Nah, my shades fell off and I had to save them", he says and holds up the colour samples as proof, before propping himself down next to Tobin. He notices that the picture of him is still there. Good.

Alm has been moving his head along with the rhythm since the song came on. "It's catchy", he says after a while, "what is it called?"

"Darude Sandstorm", Mae, Boey, Gray and Tobin answer in unison. Alm face palms.

"Guys, please."

"Ok alright, it's called 'My Type' by Saint Motel'", Tobin finally gives in and ruffles Alms’ hair/crown. "It's just too fun to tease you", Mae adds and she too, further disheveled his costume.

"She's got a point there", Gray joins in. Alm tries to protest.

"Can y'all STOP to touch my head? Celica, can you give me a hand here? Celica?"

Everyone is touching his head now, nothing wrong with that. All Alm could do was to endure it and hope for a miracle that would make them stop.

The miracle comes in form of the ringing doorbell. Mae jumps up to get the door and the others stop annoying Alm, who starts fixing his hair. Celica helps him. There is a scream and then various happy noises come from the front door. When Mae comes back, she beams. Behind her stands a girl with hair so pale that it almost looks white which are braided back into two braids.

"Guys, say hi to Nina!"

***

Nina is a little bit overdressed in her elaborate witch costume, and she seems to feel slightly awkward about that. She's fidgeting and looking alertly around the room. When her gaze meets Tobin's, she quickly turns her head elsewhere.

"I just came back from going trick or treat with my little brother and my cousin twice removed", she explains, while still half hiding behind Mae.

Everyone greets her cheerfully and then Mae pulls him and Nina apart from the group.

"Nina, this is Tobin. Tobin, this is Nina", she formally introduces them once again. Nina looks like she might faint in the next second.

"Tobin, she's the infamous Eponine. Nina, this is the guy I told you about who read the mangas."

"Uh yeah, hi", Tobin stutters nervously. Oh wow. He couldn't look at her anymore, now that he knew who she is. Mae owning and reading that ...filth is one thing. But standing in front of the person who thought this up is another, very different thing. Like, what the fuck.

Apparently it was a very similar thing for Nina too because she flushes deep red and there is a lot of panic and mortifiction in her eyes. She starts shaking Mae's shoulders vigorously

"M-A-E! Why did you have to mention that?"

"I, uh, I think that, uh, I actuallyenjoyedreadingthatokthanksbye", he mumbles and Nina's eyes suddenly light up. She gets this weird dreamy creepy expression and starts asking him everything about it.

"Really? Which part did you enjoy the most? What do you think should have been done better? Did you think of anyone in particular while reading the stuff?"

Tobin manages to answer all of the questions she had veeeery vaguely but she just asks more and more questions, which get more and more personal and he feels more and more uncomfortable.

Mae ellbows her slightly, seing how Tobin was acting.

"Dude, you've gone too far. Time to stop."

Nina looks up surprised. "Huh? But I'mnot hurting anyone."

Mae sights and pinches the bridge of her nose. "Nina, we've talked about this."  
She gasps in realization. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Bad habit of mine."

Mae was right. Nina can be nice --- if you're able to overlook her obsession with the gays.

"What did you talk about?", Gray immediately asks when Tobin sits back down next to him.

"Pass me a beer", Tobin answers. He has managed to not touch the alcohol for the whole evening but he thinks that after that conversation he needs it. Gray wordlessly gives him the can he holds in his hand and Tobin thoughtlessly drinks from it.

Nina is definitively staring and Tobin could literally feel how her gaze bore into his back.

Wow that girl has some serious thirst issues.

***

Since they are already sitting in a circle, Boey suggests playing “truth or dare” and they decide to choose the person by spinning a bottle. Mae nyooms into the kitchen and comes back with the empty coke bottle which she holds like a baseball bat.

"Alright losers, who of you is ready to get smacked down by life?"

"Mae, that's not actually how spin the bottle works..."

"Coward."

They all wait expectantly, eyes glued onto the bottle. Mae lets it fall into the circle and spins it. It's pointing at Nina, who looks a bit startled. A wicked grin spreads over Mae’s face.

“So now, my dear Nina, truth or dare?”

It starts out tame enough. Tobin learns that Nina has skipped school a few times just to play video games, that Boey is fucking terrified of spiders and then Alm is dared to order pizza, which was ultimately just an excuse to make him pay for the pizza.

Shit starts to get down when Tobin picks dare, despite (or maybe just because of the fact) that Mae is the one who is giving the tasks right now.

“I dare you to sit on Gray’s lap.”

Boey starts clapping and laughing and Tobin catches Alm patting Mae’s back. He should probably have known it. It was Mae after all and it’s not like her matchmaking techniques aren’t kind of reckless or anything. Maybe Tobin was just hoping for an opportunity like this for the whole evening, he doesn’t actually know himself. Still, he immediately feels his heartbeat skyrocket and blood rushing to his face.

And then Gray pats his legs invitingly. “Come here to daddy”, he actually says which makes Boey double over with laughter.

"Keep the kinks in your relationship to yourself”, Mae says to Gray slyly and he just cocks an eyebrow.

"Who knows”, he just states vaguely and then looks back at Tobin. “Are you going to take the dare or not?”

Tobin slips onto Gray lap blushing deeply, feeling mild mortification. Gray instant wraps his arms around him and Tobin sees Nina, Mae and Celica of all people exchanging meaningful looks.

Okkkkkkaaaaay. Is this like a shipping thing? Are he and Gray getting shipped or something?

After the first round of “let’s tease Tobin” (in which Gray also joined in what the fuck) dies down, the game continues and the bottle conveniently lands on Mae.

“Truth”, she answers and crosses her arms challengingly. “Do your worst.”

“Fuck, marry, kill, with Boey, Nina and Celica.”

Mae doesn’t even have to think before she answers.

“All three with Boey.”

Nina grins at her. “I mean, you do know, that you’re supposed to pick one person for each category right?”

“But I couldn’t do any of the three things to either Celica or you.”

“But to me or what? Do you hate me that much?”, Boey argues and is instantly shot down by her.

“I said all three, which includes marry”, Mae says, “Go figure.”

That shuts him up and now they're both blushing adorably. Tobin can feel Gray sniggering quietly and Mae shoots him a dirty look.

The next round the bottle lands on Nina, who reveals that the most mortifying thing she has ever went through was finding out that her dad found and read her yaoi and afterwards told her which points are unrealistic.

“He basically talked me through gay sex”, she says with a haunted expression on her face, “And I’m pretty sure that he did all those things he described to my other dad at some point in life.”

Alm frowns. “But don’t you like gays or something?”

“Those are my parents! Would you want to know about your parents fucking?”

“Touché.”

“Y’all do know, that your parents had to do the frick frack in order to conceive you, right?”, Tobin hears Gray say and everyone in the group gags.

„Did not need that mental image”, Boey presses out and Nina shoots him a look.

“Feel my pain.”

Tobin is torn between cringing and feeling something he can’t describe because he’s so close to Gray. When he talked before, Tobin felt the vibration his voice caused in his torso. It was difficult not to, with how Gray pressed him to himself, arms wrapped around his mid-part. Gray was warm and comfortable and Tobin wants to stay like this forever.

In the next two rounds Celica and Alm get picked consecutively and both choose truth, but they don’t really get asked mean stuff. It’s like an unspoken rule that both of them are just too pure cinnamon rolls to mess with.

Then it’s Boey’s turn, who gets dared to remove a piece of clothing by Nina, with a pointed look towards Mae. He pulls of the bread slices.

“Phew! Thanks man, they’ve been bothering me since I’ve gotten here.”

“That’s not clothing!”

“You didn’t specify what counts as clothing!”

“Booooring!”, Nina calls out and sticks her tongue out towards him. The bottle gets turned again and it lands on Gray.

“Oh boi here it goes”, Boey says excitedly and rubs his hands together. “So, truth or dare?”

“I’ll go with dare. There’s nothing I can’t handle”, Gray brags and Boey and Mae exchange looks. They’re definitively planning something.

“Since it’s that way, strip that shirt of yours.”

“Jeez, we just had that”, Gray complains, “Or do you just want to get some of this that desperately?”

“Someone else is”, Mae comments. She makes eye contact with Tobin.

Tobin gets up so Gray can take his shirt off. As if to make a point, he makes a huge effort to look the other way. As he pulls his shirt over his head, someone whistles wolfishly. Sounds like Nina.

“Oh yeah Tobin, I didn’t say you could leave, I want you to get right where you were before, got that?”Mae orders.

Oh KAY. If their quest was to make Tobin faint, they’re on their way to succeed. Gray is SHIRTLESS. Tobin is going to fucking faint; his heart most likely won’t be able to take THAT. Oh wow, now he feels like the protagonist of one of those trashy romance novels. Speaking of which, is it just him or ARE the others kind of trying to get him closer to Gray?

Oh my god, they’re really matchmaking him and Gray, aren’t they?

He can’t decide if he should be grateful or pissed, that they’re trying to mess with that. For now he’s going with grateful because holy guacamole, this is an opportunity.

To his surprise, Gray's hands are shaking slightly when he lowers himself again and nervously goes through his hair few times. Which is understandable.

Tobin is dying a thousand deaths at this point. His back is pressed to Gray's chest, there are only two layers of clothing between them and his thoughts are racing. And then Gray is hesitantly wrapping his arms around him again. He doesn't resist.

"I think this is gay enough that a no homo is needed", Gray says In a nervous attempt to ease the situation.

It definitively is, but actually, I hope it's all of the homo, the little voice at the back of Tobin's head replies. Tobin has to agree.

The sudden "click" startles him and he looks up, bewildered, right into the camera of Nina's phone.

He groans.

"Nina, I SWEAR to god, STOP!"

"But you look so cute!"

"To be fair, you guys do", Alm agrees with her.

It gets left at that and Gray spins the bottle. Tobin can absolutely NOT concentrate on the rest of the game though because of his nerves. There is a new rule, that whenever someone doesn't want to choose between truth or dare, they have to take a shot. That's when they whip out the hard stuff. Nina excluded, because she drove here with a car. Tobin takes like five shots.

When the first bottle of liquor --- some sort of Vodka --- was empty, Tobin gets up to fetch another one. He gestures Mae and Boey to get up and come with him.

"What are you guys doing?"

Boey tries to play innocent. "What are you talking about?"

"You know what."

Tobin stares at Boey and Boey stares back. Then he falters. They exchange a look and Tobin is 90% that they're silently communicating.

"You see", Mae starts explaining, "there seems to be so much UST around Gray and you that even Alm and Celica caught on so now we're trying to help."

"Unless you want us to stop, of course", Boey adds. That sentence came out more like a question than like a statement. Tobin vehemently shakes his head.

"Just keep doing whatever you're doing."

Around 11pm Nina gets up and decides to go.

"It's late and believe it or not, I have something to do tomorrow", she explains and Mae buries her into a bear hug.

"It was nice seeing you again, you bum", she says. She wasn't really drunk because she didn't back away from a single challenge that was thrown at her. "Keep in touch, will you?"

Nina nods and waves at the group. They cheerfully say goodbye to her, in various drunken states, with Tobin probably being the drunkest. And then she's out of the door.

"M hoping she won't use the picture she took in anything she's gonna draw", Tobin mumbles with a slight slur.

"Trust me she won't. I’ll make sure of that", Mae reassures him before cheerfully turning towards the others.

"Since it's Halloween, who of you wants to watch horror movies?"

***

Being slightly drunk makes everything kind of trippy and surreal. Stuff is spinning and for some reason Tobin just can't stop giggling. But he's not really drunk. He swears. Just slightly. He tells the first person he sees (who happens to be Gray) and earns a laugh. "Yeah right, you definitively aren't", he says and ruffles his hair, like he does so often before helping Mae to set up the movie. Tobin likes that. Why does he like Gray so much? He has no idea. Stupid Gray.

"I'm not drunk, am I?"He asks Boey for affirmation. Boey takes the beer he was holding out of his hand and hands over the water Alm throws over.

"Dude you're totally drunk. How much did you have?"

"Like, two beer and five shots, why?"

"Do you drink often?"

"Nahhhhh not really, why?"

Boey frowns slightly and then carefully leads him towards the couch. "That's too much. Stop it for a while. And remember to drink water to make your body rest."

Tobin lets him and nods dazed. "Okay", he repeats after Boey. "Water is good."

Following a random impulse he has he suddenly stands up and makes an announcement. "This is a PSA, WATER IS GOOD. Pass it on."

He should not have done that. The room is spinning even worse now and he puts his hands to his forehead.

Alm comes over to him. "Dude you alright? Do you have to throw up?"

"Nah. M fiiine. Still at the whatsitcalled- fun drunk stage."

"If you say so", Alm smiles at him unsurely and Tobin beams back. Alm then proceeds to appoint Gray as the person who keeps an eye on him.

The couch wasn't designed to be able to hold six people; still they try to fit everyone on it. Tobin ends up squeezed in between Boey and Gray and it takes some more time to ensure that no one accidently gets their blood circulation cut off. Gray is still topless by the way because "he doesn't feel cold in anyway and doesn't want his wonderful craftsmanship to get destroyed „which doesn't help with Tobin's blood circulation. He then proceeds to casually lay an arm across Tobin's back.

Tobin's inward screaming as well as his dying both intensify.

The movie starts. Mae sprints across the room to turn off any remaining lights and the room is draped in complete darkness except for the flickering TV-screen. The moment the lights are off, Tobin feels Boey wince next to him.

"Is everything fine?" he whispers and Boey nods.

"Don't worry about me", he says. "Can anyone pass me a beer?"

The movie starts out in a graveyard. The first five minutes are spent with everyone making fun of the setting and Tobin can feel Boey visibly relaxing.

"And of course they had to choose a girl with watermelon boobs as protagonist."

"Has anyone mentioned yet that graveyards are the biggest bullshit place to start a horror movie in?"

"This is like, cliché. The cliché of cliché."

"Can we appreciate the mist?"

"To the person who chose the movie, did you actually watch it?"

It was Celica. They all look at her. She's leaning against Alms shoulder, with her eyes closed and a blanket draped over her. As a response she only makes an incomprehensible sound and wraps the blanket even closer to herself.

"Shhh she's sleeping", Alm shushes them. Tobin stands up and stumbles to one of the scattered water bottles on the ground and puts it in Alms’ hand.

"Water is good."

Alm takes it, slightly confused and thanks him. When he sits back down, Boey slaps his back jokingly.

"I see you learn fast, young Padawan."

"Do you have enough water though", Gray leans over and asks. Tobin picks up the bottle lying under his feet and waves it in Gray's face, who nods approvingly.

In fact, the movie seems to be entirely made of clichés. The visuals and the soundtracks are surprisingly good, but that doesn't keep the storyline from being entirely trash. Since it's the only horror movie they have at hand, they might as well watch it. The comments die down after some time, but Gray continues to whisper witty comments into Tobin's ear. His sole purpose seemed to have shifted to make Tobin laugh.

But then, there are movies that are so trashy that it's not even fun to make fun of the trashiness anymore.

"I'm too sober for this", Tobin finally hears Gray say. He gets up to get a bottle of something --- Tobin doesn't drink enough to get what that is --- and proposes another drinking game.

"How about we all take a shot whenever something stereotypical happens? Who's in it?"

Mae and Alm raise their hands and after some considerations, Tobin does too. Boey passes. Gray counts their fingers before placing shot glasses in front of them. He hesitates slightly as he places the cup into Tobin’s palm.

“Are you really sure you can handle that?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m sober again”, Tobin says. Gray doesn’t ask any other questions after that and just fills everyone’s cups. With beer, not hard hitting stuff.

It doesn’t take long for them to empty the bottle, which was not that difficult. Seriously, that whole thing was about a supposedly haunted graveyard with a haunted house on it that makes people disappear and up to this point, the protagonists have done everything that would ensure the death of everyone in the party. Gray dubbed them typical White People™.

“Did- did that guy really just trip over thin air?” he asks and shakes his head. “Why do I even ask, of course he did. And is that girl really trying to help him to get up? Seriously, just run!”

Mae dramatically whips her head around and glares at him. “Wow, would you just leave a friend like that?”

“Hmmm… under normal circumstances yes, but just for you I’d make an exception.”

“Naaw that’s cute. Now take the shot.”

They take the shot. Alm immediately goes and refills the cups. Can’t be wrong, probably won’t take long until they have to take what feels like their hundredths shot anyway. Aaaand there it is. The monster that’s responsible for making the people disappear shows its face for the first time and – oh wonder – it’s just a very mutilated corpse/zombie-thingy.

Boey lets out a long, high pitched scream when the camera zooms in on its face and Tobin jumps at that sound. Alm takes the remote and stops the movie.

“Was that you?”

The face is still on screen and Boey is covering his face with his hands. His voice is shrill and probably loud enough to wake Celica up. “Oh god, oh my god make that thing go away!”

“What, that CGI-Zombie?” Mae asks innocently. “It’s not like it will crawl out of the TV and eat you.”

“It’s hideous! I hate it!”

“What, it’s just a zombie! They’re supposed to be like that! You’re such a scaredy cat!”

“Mae! Stop bullying me!”

She sticks out her tongue at him when suddenly they hear a sleepy soft voice. Celica is awake!

“Mae, really. Leave Boey alone and please get along”, she says and then yawns. “What did I miss?”

They seize the opportunity to take a break from drinking watching the movie. Alm, Mae and Gray all still sound very sober. Tobin on the other hand finally has to admit, that he is, in fact, not sober at all anymore. How the hell are they able to sound that normal with that much liquor downed?

He voices his question. Apparently Alm has been to a shit-ton of parties from the moment on he got into university, Mae naturally has a high tolerance which she built up even more due to parties and Gray also built his alcohol tolerance because of parties and him clubbing. And the two of them also go to bars together quite often. Damn. How are they going to all these parties? And since when are Mae and Gray doing so much stuff together?

So maybe this really wasn’t just his imagination.

They continue the movie and this time around Boey joins in again with the drinking. The beer is finally exchanged with hard liquor, “as it should be” according to Gray. Now that Celica is awake too, the joking and commenting increases, but somehow it’s now mainly Gray and Mae joking together??

Tobin can’t wrap his head around it. What is going on? Since when do the two of them have so many insiders? And wasn’t Mae supposed to be dating Boey? It’s a silly thing to panic about, but he just can’t help but to. What if in the end Gray was actually interested in Mae? Hadn’t this been going on for even longer? So that’s what Gray has been up to on those days where he wasn’t home in the evening.

What was he thinking? Gray was his own person and he can do whatever the fuck he wants to. Cold dread settles in Tobin’s stomach, acting like a bucket of cold water, sobering him up instantly. What if he misjudged everything? Obviously, that could pretty much be it. Just because Gray likes dudes doesn’t mean that he has to like Tobin. Great. Now he feels horrible while all he wanted this evening was to have fun with all of his friends.

He’s cold and wraps his arms around himself. Nobody notices and Tobin feels stupid for feeling bad about that. What was he expecting? He is grown and an adult, for god’s sake! But it’s just like that with bad emotions, once he has sad thoughts they just keep snowballing down the hill. Nevermind the fact that he is already drunk, he needs more stuff.

He chugs down another beer parallel to the drinking game and then another one. There is definitively a limit somewhere he broke. It’s dangerous to drink like that, because it takes longer for the alcohol to kick in than to drink it and when he realized that, he was already feeling way too shitty. He probably needs to throw up.

When he stands up, his vision blacks out for a minute. The world starts to spin and he desperately needs to find a bathroom. When Gray sees what he’s doing, he stands up too.

“Are you alright? Do you need to throw up?”

Tobin glares at him. “What do you care”, he says and then stumbles across the room into the hallway, slamming the door shut. Once outside, he sinks down against a wall with his head facing upwards staring into the void. What was he doing? He doesn’t quite feel like himself. This has to be a huge fuckup.

It’s weird. Everything is weird. His head is spinning and the ground is spinning and his stomach still churns but he can’t bring himself to care. There is just a cloud of nothingness and confusion in his brain (probably alcohol induced) that is blocking out any other thought. It isn’t that bad though, it feels like those times he had too little sleep. Except it s actually worse. That didn’t make sense, did it? What was he doing here again?

The door next to him opens and closes. It’s Gray. Of course it’s him. No one else would care that much about Tobin except maybe Mae but that wasn’t the point. Gray is the one closest to him. But wait, wasn’t he thinking something different just a minute prior?

He squats down next to Tobin and wraps an arm around his back. “What’s wrong buddy? Do you need something? Maybe water? You probably overdid it, didn’t you?”

So he does care.

And suddenly everything he felt, all of the emotions he held for the idiot in front of him comes back rushing into his consciousness. God. He hates him but at the same time, it’s just because of how much he’s in love with him. Just. Why does he have to look like that? Why does he have to act like that and why can’t Tobin just look into Gray’s head and see what he wants to know?

Sometimes Gray is as easy to read as a children’s book and sometimes he’s even more complicated than an enigma. There is only one way to find out.

Tobin doesn’t know what he’s doing. Right now he was all adrenaline and alcohol and drunken coordination. He’s clumsy when he puts his hands on Gray’s cheeks and leans in. There is no finesse when he slams their lips together. Gray smells like booze, but Tobin doesn’t care. There is no magic or spark or however it’s supposed to feel like, but it’s real. And Gray is kissing him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah. This is it. Holy shit this is the first thing I actually pulled through.   
> I'm not really satisfied with how the end turned out, but a good friend of mine who writes amazingly told me that if you don't know how to improve it, leave it. But still, I might edit it in the future.  
> I was thinking at some point to delete the whole thing because I wrote this with a certain someone in mind. In the end it didn't work out between us, but the same friend as above convinced me to leave it here. There's a lot of group dynamics of my friends in here as well. So I decided to leave it.   
> Thank you to everone who read this whole story and sticked it out until the end. And all the ones who reviewed and left kudoses. It really motivated me <3


End file.
